I just wrote a new song. Kinda a 15-minute-job, but I wanna have some feedback on these lyrics, please.. [smile] The two-line part is the chorus.
Everytime I see that face
I break down and cry
When the truth finally breaks
The seas they roar in those eyes
I knew how it felt to be free
Never a worry on my mind
Some say that ignorance is bliss
'Till there's no comfort left to find
Only in that love was I truly free
Only in those arms could I really be me
They told me love was my own thing
To do with as I pleased
That it was all in how I tried
All was good if it felt right to me
Ever an arbitrary truth
Fragments spread through time
An intermittent compromising truce
Never a clearly drawn confine
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welcome, [ivan]
11 comments:
[smile] bad case of allergy, eh?
actually, I started writing it about a girl, but thought better of it and soon enough it'd turned into a rebellion against the dominating humanistic perception of truth. Or rather, I guess its the lack of perception of truth and absolutes that I'm taking a swing at. In retrospect, it might be a rather dull swing.
Hey, I really like the lyrics that you wrote. They seem really intimate, especially the chorus lines. I am picturing an acustic slow tune? what do you have in mind for it?
Well thanks, and yes, the chorus lines are really intimate. One thing that has struck me again and again is how little I've tended to listening to the lyrics coherently when I hear a song. Its just that I've heard so much music that its become a cheap thrill.
But yes, especially the line, "only in those arms could I really be me" describes an aspect of my life for the last 1½ years or so! -though I'm afraid the rhyme of "really be me" is a bit too corny to be taken seriously.. Oh well, I've planned to work on it some more tomorrow and we'll see what happens.
Now, do I know you? ;)
Arh, I keep forgetting to comment on the tune. Its pretty (/too!) basic really and repetitive, although I think its appropriately slow to deal with the issues of love, truth and humanism.
And this is another problem. It's too cluttered as far as themes go. I have 3 in one song! Sheesh!
Nope, you don't know me, I'm a prairie gal, as in Saskatchewan Canada! I was just browsing through blogs and was intrigued by yours . . . I hope you don't mind. Eryn.
Oh okay, Eryn! :) Nice to meet you.. I only quickly read through yours but I like your style. Saskatchewan?! I've heard other Canadians talk down about your state then! [laughs] One of my used-to-be-really good friends is from Kelowna. But yeah yeah, banter banter.
-and thank you! :)
What! People talking trash about Saskatchewan! haha . . . Kelowna is a pretty awesome place, I can't be dissing it! So you are a bartender? What's the best drink you can make? ;)
Yeah, they said there was nothing there! That it could be likened to a great field.. haha But yeah, I'm more like a "café-tender" so I'm best at latté's, cappucino's and au lait's. I don't do the weekends when people start wanting to drink a Smirnoff vodka with Rose's Lime, Tequila and 7-Up on fire with umbrellas and lemons or something silly. I serve beer, coffee and baguettes and that's that.. ;)
haha . . . I am a coffee aholic . . . and I drink it BLACK. None of that cream and sugar crap! ;)
But, the wheat fields are so golden and pretty when they blow in the wind [ rolls eyes ] ok, you got me the landscape is a little boring!
As it is 3:37 "in the am" my day tomorrow is gonna have to consist solely of coffee! ;) But hey hey hey, wheat fields are nice (especially when ripe!) Here in Denmark we have our share of wheat fields and I rather enjoy them when they behave like the sea..
Listen we're treating this like msn or some other kind of chat!
haha . . . yeah sorry about that. I will let you be, but i enjoyed the faux conversation! Check ya later! Eryn.
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